Back to School: Covid Edition
Hey there! Gather ‘round because we need to talk about this back to school situation in this year, 2020!
Now before I start, let me say that I will do my best to avoid the phrases: unprecedented, new normal, and cancel 2020. We all are probably tired of those terms! But the truth is I have treated numerous children and adults over the years that have suffered from anxiety and back to school time is already a very stressful and anxiety-provoking time. But this year in particular is presenting with a number of new challenges that would test even the least anxious of us!
Why is back to school time so stressful this year?
Ummm…COVID! Okay so that was obvious. But it’s not the virus itself that is solely causing so much anxiety. It’s the impact of it as well. The amount of back and forth we all have seen across the country (go out, go back in, wear your mask in this state, but not this one, go to school- as usual…no on a hybrid…no fully remote…but only until November!). There is absolutely no amount of consensus right now on the topic of covid. And that lack of consensus makes people feel anxious.
Anxiety is rooted in an intolerance of uncertainty, and all of us have different levels of tolerance.
So how can you help your family feel less stressed during this time?
Pay attention to what you can control. You are not a fortune teller nor should you put that on yourself. There is a lot we cannot control right now. But try to identify the things you can control. YOU can control the routine in your home with your children. YOU can control how much of the news you are watching. YOU are in control of the people that you rely on for support. Do you really want to talk constantly to that one family member that seems to only pay attention to or talk about the bad news?
Set a routine. If your kids are home for school again, use the same schedule that you used for them when they would go into a building. Set regular bed times and wake up times. And if you think it will help them, at least have them change their clothes in the morning so they can at least get into the mindset they need for their school day. Routines that are predictable make people feel safe and contained- especially when the other parts of life feel the exact opposite. So trust- this small gesture goes a long way!
Don’t compare yourself to others. I say this with a little bit of caution because it’s normal to ask your friends or relatives about how they are managing the back to school routine or which school option they chose for these hybrid models and such. The important thing to remember is that you should do you best to not take their feedback to be a referendum on what you are doing wrong or right. Everyone, for the most part, is trying to make the best decision they can for themselves and/or their family. You are too! So it’s great to chat and exchange ideas, but don’t second-guess yourself too much. Which brings me to my next point…
Withhold judgment of others. Sometimes, people quell their own anxiety by trying to identify why others are not doing things “the right way.” Set a good example for your children when it comes to this because they may have a lot of questions if their friends’ families are doing things differently than your family. Explain that different families have special circumstances and everyone has to make decisions the best way they can. Some families have parents that are essential workers and are needed to continue to do their jobs in person while others can work remotely. Some children have chronic health issues so their parents opted for them to be home. It’s not going to make anyone less anxious to put down or judge others for why they are doing things differently.
Don’t watch the news all day long! Self-explanatory. If it is stressing you out, cut it off. Select a certain time of day to get your fix and then shut it off.
Remember to breathe, wait, and move around. When you get yet another email about the new plan for school, breathe and try not to react or respond right away. Take a moment because the one predictable thing these days is change. So go for a walk, get your body moving and that will help regulate your anxious energy a bit.
And family, listen…I will be doing all of this right along with you! Take it one day at a time and remember to take a few notes. You may want to remember how your family made it through these tough times. Be kind to yourself and give others grace.
